Why you’re not losing weight 

 April 16, 2019

Do you feel like you have tried everything that you can to lose your weight, and nothing is working for you? This is such a common thing that I see people struggling with. There are many reasons why you're not losing weight. It may have to do with physical things, so I have 5 things that you can do differently to lose weight. But we're also going to get into the underlying emotional issues that might be behind your difficulty in releasing that weight.


Why you're not losing weight

In theory, it's really easy to lose weight. You've heard the advice countless times before....to lose weight, you just need to eat less and exercise more.

Pretty simple, right? 

Except that it's not. If you've tried different diets, and you've tried different exercise regimes, you know that it's not that simple. And it's really, really frustrating. Let me share a little example of this with you.

My husband is 10 inches taller than I am and twice my weight. He and I can eat the same amount of food, I can easily keep up with him on any meal. And in fact, I often eat the same amount of food that he eats, and sometimes more than he does. We both eat pretty healthy, too, so it's not about eating junk food.

Yet, I do not gain weight. And he does not lose weight. And it's not because I'm spending more time working out or exercising than he is.

So you might say well, what the heck, I thought it was supposed to be about portion control and how much food that I eat. The standard, "calories in, calories out" kind of thing. (Which is NOT really the case.)

Well, that's one of the frustrating things, or one of the interesting things. about dealing with weight Losing weight is not just about the food or the amount of food that we eat. Part of it is our metabolisms. I burn through my calories at a much faster rate than my husband does.

We have different body chemistries and different hormonal processes. And so we're going to respond differently to the food that we're currently taking in.

Now, even on an energetic level, the food that we eat and our the weight level that our bodies are at is going to vary based upon our thoughts and our beliefs. I actually spent a number of years being underweight, which can also be a problem. And that was in large part due to a lot of beliefs that I had about not being supported. As I change those beliefs, I was able to come up to a weight that was healthier for my body.

Now, if you're overweight, you probably can't really sympathize with being underweight. But the whole point is that, regardless of whether you have too much too little weight, it's not just about food. You weight is about your thoughts and your belief patterns about yourself and your relationship with food.

5 simple things you can do to lose weight

I've got five things that you can do from the physical aspect to help you with losing your weight.

#1: Increase your physical activity

This is not a surprise to you, I'm sure. And this is true for everyone. Regardless of our weight, being more physically active is better for our health overall.

Notice I didn't say exercise more. If you've got excess weight, you've probably tried exercising, or you already are exercising. That's not what this is about.

Don't worry about trying to find a specific exercise program that you can jump right into. Simply think about moving your body more. How can you walk more during your day? How can you be more physically active during your day? Do simple things, like park farther away from the door at the grocery store, or take the stairs instead of taking the elevator, or after dinner instead of watching your favorite program on TV, go out for a short walk instead.

What is one some simple thing you can do today to increase your physical activity?

#2: Drink more water

Drinking more water is especially important if you find yourself consuming a lot of soda, or energy drinks or sports drinks. You want to replace those fluids with water, in part because you are consuming excess calories that don't serve you in any way.

Often, we think we're hungry when we're actually thirsty. Drinking more water will help all of your organs, your skin, your muscles and your joints, and your brain.....ok yes, all parts of your body! Next time you feel hungry when it's not mealtime, drink a glass of water first.

#3: Change what you eat

Now, I am not saying to go on a diet. I would never say go on a diet. I do not believe in dieting, I believe in changing for the long term, the foods that we eat so that we can get the most nourishment that we need for our bodies.

Now that being said, there are a few simple things that will serve all of us better as we look at the food that we eat. [Check out, Which diet is best for me?] One thing to do is, you might need to make changes to your portion size. This may or may not have an effect for you, like the story that I shared in the beginning about myself and my husband. But try reducing the amount of food that you eat. Notice when you actually feel full. Do you continue to keep eating after you feel full or do you normally stop at that time?

It's also very helpful to become more aware of how you feel when you eat, and how much you feel that you actually need to eat when you're sitting down to a meal. Are you eating for emotional reasons, because you're feeling upset or down or depressed or stressed? Do you best to make sure that you're eating because you're hungry. You'll make better food choices than you will if you eat because you feel stressed.

The second part of what you can do with changing your food is to reduce or eliminate processed foods as much as possible. All of the cakes and the cookies and the desserts and the chips and the bagels and all those kinds of things. Get those out of your diet along with fast food as much as you possibly can. The last thing you can do to change what you're eating is to simply eat more fruits and vegetables.

That doesn't mean you have to go through any extravagant meal preparation or meal planning. It simply means to make sure that you're having more fruits and vegetables as you have your meals and as you go about your day. And I'm not talking about french fries! I mean steamed vegetables, roasted vegetables, fresh fruit, those types of things.

#4: Reduce stress

The fourth thing that you can do physically to help you to lose weight is to reduce your levels of stress.

When you have more stress in your life, you have more hormones flowing in your body that make it more difficult for you to lose weight. Do whatever you can do to reduce stress. That may be as simple as taking a few minutes to laugh and to play every day, smile more, do some deep breathing, start meditating, or perhaps it's something as drastic as completely changing your job. But whatever you need to do, help yourself to reduce stress.

#5: Get more (and better quality) sleep

Sleep goes hand in hand with your stress levels. If you don't sleep well at night, or if you consistently get too little sleep, then you have more of your stress hormones coursing through your body. And that makes you hold on to your weight, so you're not going to lose it. If you're not sleeping well at night, you might also want to consider getting checked for sleep apnea to see if that's a problem that can have greater health consequences as well other than just staying overweight.

So there's five things that you can do to help you on the physical side with releasing your weight. They may not be new to you. The key is, are you actually implementing any of these things in your life on a regular basis? If not, I encourage you to pick just one thing and create a new habit for yourself.

Change your beliefs and lose weight

Let's get to the root of the difficulties you're having with losing weight.

This will also help you release your weight, possibly even more than the physical things will, because my guess is, you have made these changes to your physical world with your food and exercise and you haven't seen the results that you expect to see.

Let's talk about the underlying emotional aspect of being overweight. Because maybe we're at this point, and you're thinking, Okay, Jen, I've heard these things before, this is not anything new. And that's very true, it's not, it's the same advice you've heard before.

Have you consistently applied these things in your life? You've probably seen some weight loss, but maybe it hasn't gotten you to where you want to go.

And that can be extremely frustrating because you feel like you're following the rules. You're doing what people tell you to do. And everybody's telling you to do the same things. Yet, it's not getting you to that ideal weight that you want to be at, so you can feel better, have more energy and enjoy your life more.

What is the underlying emotional component of being overweight?

There is one major thing that contributes to being overweight. It's this: feeling a need for protection.

Think about this, if you have excess weight on your body, that makes you more solid, it makes you bigger, it gives you more physical space to occupy. In that sense, it helps to give you protection and keep you safer from other people and from the world around you.

Going along with that need for protection is very often insecurity, dislike for the self, and a need to be fulfilled, trying to be fulfilled.

If we dislike ourselves and feel insecure, food is a wonderful way to feel better temporarily. Sweets and carbs bring a literal emotional uplift because of how they affect our hormones. Food is also very comforting. I'm sure you can list the standard comfort foods from childhood. Are any of them really that healthy?

Here's how you can investigate this a bit for yourself to see what is true for you.

Take a little time, sit down at a time when you are by yourself and you can be undisturbed for maybe three to five minutes. Take some deep breaths, and be willing to be honest with yourself and just ask yourself these questions:

  • Is my excess weight related to the need to protect myself?
  • Is my excess weight related to feelings of insecurity?
  • Is my excess weight related to not liking myself?
  • Is my excess weight related to having a need to be fulfilled in some way?

Ask these questions and see what comes to you. What do you feel within your body? You may get words that come from you as you go through this process. Emotions may come to you or images may come to you. Particular places in your body may may communicate with you, whether it's through pain or tightness or other sensations. Ask yourself if these things might apply to you, and see what answers you get.

Also, think about your childhood and your upbringing and the relationship that you had with nourishment and food and criticism. As a child, did you feel that you were constantly being attacked, perhaps, and so you feel this need to protect yourself? The way that you have decided to protect yourself is by eating more food so that you become overweight, so that you are safer from these attacks.

Maybe you haven't been attacked from the outside, but you have this inner voice that is attacking you. Maybe there are some underlying feelings of being completely unfulfilled in some area of your life. And so you're trying to fulfill yourself by eating food instead of by getting the job or doing the work that really makes your heart happy.

Once you start to have an awareness of and address the underlying emotional component of your weight, it will start to slowly come off. And it will come off much easier.

Release your weight, don't lose it!

I also want to encourage you to change the way to talk about weight. We normally talk about losing weight, "I want to lose weight."

But when you think of losing something, that generally means that you have misplaced it, and now you need to go find it and get it back again. So this has probably been your experience with your weight throughout your life, you lose the weight.

Has this been your experience with your weight? You lose some or all of it, only to gain it back again! And very often when it comes back, there's more of it than there was the first time that you lost it.

This can be extremely frustrating. So instead of thinking of losing the weight, I want you to think of releasing your weight, letting go of your weight. Think about how the weight makes you feel, and what it would feel like without those feelings and those emotions weighing you down.

The extra weight makes you feel heavier, it may make you feel safer. So you need to find a way to feel safe, without holding on to all of that weight.

You can use these five physical things that I've suggested for releasing your weight. But I also strongly encourage you to tune into the underlying emotional aspects and belief patterns that might be there for you for your weight, and start to see what you can discover.

Once you find out what the belief pattern is that you're holding on to, there are many ways that you can start changing those patterns so that you don't continue this process of holding on to this weight. You can start thinking of yourself differently and perceiving your world differently so that you feel safe to release that weight that you have.

Book a session and get some help

Are you stuck trying to release your excess weight? Are you tired of trying to change your diet and exercise and not get to your idea weight? I'm happy to help. Book an energy healing session and we'll uncover underlying emotional issues and beliefs that we can then change quickly for you.

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About the author

Jen Bessire, PhD, is a Christian medium, author, and healer. After 23 years as a physical therapist, God called her to her current path in 2014. She delights in helping others come unto Christ, heal generational trauma, and create a life of freedom. God is calling you - are you listening?

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