Finding happiness and enjoying better relationships - something we all want - requires looking at ourselves and our own behavior. We often blame others for our feelings, but our feelings are our own. The sooner we take responsibility for them, the easier it becomes to find happiness, and to find more love and acceptance of others. In this video, I share how trapped emotions can pop up and how to deal with that strong reaction.
We all have trapped emotions and other negative energies. It's a part of being human. Here I share how to recognize them when they surface, and how to deal with them.
1) Step 1: Pause
A crucial first step in taking responsibility for our emotions is to pause. When you experience a strong emotion, learn to pause, take a breath, and get curious. At first, it feels like there isn't any time to do this, because we habitually react so quickly. The truth is, there IS time, and you can learn to pause in that space. Just observe what you feel. Notice how you feel. Allow yourself to feel what you feel.
2) Step 2: Get curious
Once you've trained yourself to pause, the next step is to ask yourself questions. Allow yourself to experience the feeling without blaming the other person. They are not at fault - they are simply the trigger for something you have experienced in the past. Now is the time to get curious and explore the emotion. Where did that come from? I wonder why I feel that way? What is this feeling?
3) Step 3: Let it go
Use whatever method works for you to let go of the trapped emotion. You may have to come back to it later to do so. Try journaling, exercising, yelling into a pillow, taking a walk in nature, or whatever works for you. I use Karol K. Truman's script, or The Emotion Code for myself.
Steps to take charge of your emotions
- Stop blaming others! Your emotional responses are yours - owning them gives you the ability to release them and to change them in the future. It gives you power and control over yourself and your life.
- Accept the various feelings that crop up during your day. Let them surface and find appropriate ways to express them.
What have you found helpful to recognize and respond to strong emotions, instead of blaming others?