3 Simple Steps to Forgiveness 

 August 14, 2018

Forgiveness can be a tough thing. Sometimes we want the other person to hurt (revenge). Sometimes we think we're over something, and one day, wam! The whole thing is triggered again and memories wash over us. Here I share with you a simple three step process you can use over and over again to find forgiveness.


Ultimately, forgiveness is about letting go. Letting go of the hurt, the shame, the fear, or whatever other emotions we feel. It's also about replacing those feelings with truth - with more love and more light. Forgiving ourselves and others brings more peace, joy and happiness into our lives.

1) Accept the experience

We need to accept that the event happened, and there is nothing we can do to change it.

Focusing on what we could have done is not helpful. We just end up putting blame on ourselves for something we are not responsible for.

It's also important to let yourself feel the emotions tied in to the experience. Allow all of the emotions to flow and to surface and to be expressed.

2) Learn the lesson, find the good

This part usually comes later, with some time and introspection between ourselves and the initial hurt.

All things that we experience in life give us the opportunity to learn and grow. Make the choice to learn and to grow.

What can you take from the experience that will help you be better or stronger in the future?

3) Let go!

Ultimately, we must let the whole thing go. This does NOT mean that we forget the experience! Or that we condone the behavior.

It simply means that we are ready to move past it and not let it control us moving forward.

Again, make the choice, and choose love and happiness for yourself.

Forgiveness is freeing

  • What we give out is what we get back - when we forgive, we receive forgiveness unto ourselves, too. Luke 6:37 reads, "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven"
  • Be gentle with yourself. Forgiveness, like most things in life, is a process. It can take a lot of time to get through all of the layers of pain that are there.

How have you seen forgiveness bless your life? Share in the comments below.

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About the author

Jen Bessire, PhD, is a Christian medium, author, and healer. After 23 years as a physical therapist, God called her to her current path in 2014. She delights in helping others come unto Christ, heal generational trauma, and create a life of freedom. God is calling you - are you listening?

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