Mental illness can be one of the most difficult things to heal. Thankfully, the things we experience in mortality call all be healed by Christ, whether in this life or the next. Today I've got an incredible story of healing and change in an ancestor who was very difficult.
An incredible healing from mental illness through Jesus
It's 3:23am. I'm up and ready to meet with an ancestor, to hear their story of following Jesus.
I have gone through my normal steps to prepare myself and create a space to meet. I have sung, prayed, and Theodore is here. I have tested him to ensure I am not being deceived.
Stanley and Helen appear. I am a bit surprised, because he has caused some mischief in the past. He looks different now. He is more regal. When I ask him to bear his testimony, he stands and sings a short stanza, then asks me for my forgiveness.
Stanley and Helen are my mother's parents. Stanley was not a nice guy.
He physically abused his son, who became an alcoholic and got involved with the wrong people. This led to his murder. Stanley was well off financially, but didn't help his family. My mom had to buy her own clothes and struggled to have the basic necessities. He also had paranoid schizophrenia. He disappeared for 5 years, then suddenly returned to his family.
As you can imagine, my mom's upbringing caused difficulties in her relationships.
I don't harbor bad feelings toward him, or my mom, because I've done a ton of healing over the past 30 years. I also have a general understanding of what Stanley's upbringing was like...and it was pretty challenging!
My grandparents both died when I was fairly young, so I don't have many memories of them. However, I've encountered Stanley's spirit before.
The change from mischief to a servant of Jesus
My first encounter with him was pretty benign. I was sitting in my office doing energy work for myself, and he appeared. I learned that he was curious about what I was doing.
Later, during another energy clearing session, he appeared to interfere with the work I was doing. His wife and my mom both came to get him away from me.
Needless to say, I'm not fond of him. That being said, I do believe in forgiveness and repentance, and in salvation. I have done his temple work, with the hope that he would someday find healing and accept Jesus.
Given my past encounters with him, I'm very surprised by his nature as he appears to me this morning. Honestly, I spent the entire conversation having a bit of doubt about his authenticity, even after he asked for my forgiveness.
Stanley puts his hands on my desk and says, "You must learn to obey! Obedience brings blessings. It will bring you all you want."
He seems a bit gruff.
"I am a bit gruff, but I am working on it. But! We get to be here and see you, and I am excited about that."
(Apparently, he knows my thoughts!)
Helen is sitting with him, and appears as quite bright and glorious.
I think to myself, I'm a bit surprised that I'm not feeling more excited about seeing you. Although we weren't really connected when you were alive.
"Well, I was a bit difficult, having the mental illness and other things."
All we experience serves a purpose
Helen speaks up. "Yes, we see now that these things had a purpose. Jen, trust Heavenly Father's plan. Accept your life, the challenges you experience, and the faults of those you meet. They all serve a purpose in Him. It won't all be clear while you are yet on the earth, but once you return, you will see more."
"Continue to create what you want your life to be. You are aware much more than most. Help them become aware, too."
"As you share the gospel, and share the truth about your Savior, their eyes will be opened, too. Eventually, if they continue, they will find him and will be changed."
"Thank you," I reply. "You are both dramatically different from how I knew you. Will you share how that happened? Will you share your stories with me?"
"Oh yes!" Helen says. (The little I knew and remembered about her, she was very quiet. She isn't now.)
Our natures don't automatically change when we die
"Yes," she says, giving a glance at Stanley. "I was very different. We don't automatically change when we die. That is important to understand."
"Most people think we are automatically changed into these perfect beings. That's just not true. The suffering of the body does end. The physical aches and pains go away, and deformities. But the spirit retains the desires and attachments it had when in human form."
"We must be purified and cleansed before we can be with Jesus. There is a process, and it is different for different people. We are not here to discuss that today. We are here to share our stories about our changes in coming unto Christ. Would you like to hear that?"
"Oh yes, I would!" I say, excitedly. "I'm sure you know that I am here to collect and share these stories."
"Yes," she says, smiling. "Okay, I will begin."
Heaven can appear dark for some people
"When I died, I came to a dark place. It wasn't evil, it was just that there was much commotion. It was like being in New York City on a busy street. There were a lot of people, a lot of spirits, and much noise. I wasn't sure where I was at first. Then I realized what had happened, and that I had returned to heaven."
"Heaven is divided into....oh, well, I'm not to say much about that. I'm sorry."
(See this post about spirit prison and spirit paradise.)
"As I was saying, things were dark. I looked for the light I had expected to see. I found it in the form of men dressed in white, glowing, beautiful and kind. So very kind. I don't think I'd ever known anyone so kind on earth."
I ask if there are also female missionaries. Helen gets excited and starts to talk, but I can't hear her. It is as if a large plexiglass window has been put up between us. I've had a similar experience before with little children. They get excited and talk, but suddenly I'm unable to hear them.
"It's very exciting," she says, finishing what she was sharing.
"Well, apparently it's not for me to receive right now, because I wasn't given to hear what you said about that. That's okay," I say, chuckling.
"Oh!" she laughs. "Yes, that does happen."
I can tell from their level of comfort with our meeting that they have progressed in their growth more than Stephen and Julie from last week.
"Yes," says Helen. "We have accepted much since you have seen Stanley last."
Not all baptisms are equal
"Well, I will continue. I met the missionaries, and they started telling me more about Jesus and the gospel, and about Heavenly Father's plan. At first I was confused. I thought you could be baptized into any church. Aren't they all the same? I didn't understand why that would matter."
"It turns out that Heaven is VERY orderly. All things must be done in order, and must be done the way that Heavenly Father has decreed. I learned all about his power, and how it is given to men on earth."
"I can see now how that power is necessary. It changes men in their hearts. When they receive this power and choose to develop it by seeking after God, their nature is changed. That is what allows it to work. It brings about a change that doesn't happen by simply choosing to follow Jesus. We must enter in to the one way."
"It is a pervasive lie Satan tells that all ways will lead to Heaven. That simply isn't true."
"Well, in his deceptive ways, it does contain a kernel of truth, doesn't it? Death returns all beings to the spirit world."
"But as you have seen, following Jesus isn't enough to return you to his presence. We must accept Heavenly Father's plan."
How to make sense of the evil and suffering in our world
"It is glorious, you know. There is noting more beautiful and peace-giving. It has brought all the peace and understanding I needed, and was seeking for."
"I was so hurt when I died. I didn't understand why I had to suffer to much, and why there was so much evil in our lives. My heart was heavy."
"Now, I understand it all, and it makes so much sense. It is perfect, it really is!"
Stan nods in agreement. "Yes, just follow the plan. Keep on the narrow course. This is where the real truth is."
"There is much that is true, but most truth is also partly or to a great degree untrue. There are degrees of all things. But the TRUE truth, as I like to call it, is sublime. It is freeing. It is glorious. It is perfect."
"Here is how you know it is true truth. It speaks....." The plexiglass appears again, as he continues to talk. "That is how you know."
"Thank you," I say again. "I wasn't allowed to hear what you said, but I appreciate you sharing. You are quite different than when we encountered each other last."
The way to find peace
"Yes! I am so grateful for that. I am grateful for repentance and for Jesus. Through him, we can change and grow into the beautiful beings you see sitting in front of you this morning. Please repent. Please let him guide your heart. Please give up whatever he asks you to let go of. It is all worth it, no matter how hard it is."
"I had to give up my anger. I was very angry. I was so hurt and confused. I felt unloved, and that I had been cheated out of so much in life. I didn't want to let it go."
(I start to cry. I cast Satan out, or ask that the spirit will reveal to me why I am crying. I hear, "Your heart is sad, too. You feel that you have missed much good that was your right to have. You sorrow for the things that are not, that you don't have, and haven't been given yet."
I choose to repent of these things. I ask for forgiveness, and I do desire to let them go. I desire to be free of the faulty views and regrets. I repent of holding on to things that keep me sad.)
"I'm sorry, Stanley. This isn't supposed to be about me." I start to cry more.
"You think your life has been and is harder than it needs to be," he says, in a very kind voice. "That you are not meant to suffer like you feel you are. Or to have to struggle so hard. You compare yourself to others and desire what they have, without realizing the gifts you have been given."
I am amazed at his insights. Clearly he knows my heart, because I haven't talked about these things. I haven't even been fully aware of them.
Stanley smiles again. "We are not given to know all things of others, but I do know enough about you. We are family, and we are connected. We are close enough that my failings are also in you, to a part, as well."
I cry in earnest, and just let myself cry for a bit. Everything disappears from view, and I fear they have left.
I let everything go, let the tears out, and am then able to return to Stanley and Helen.
"It's okay to be sad, Jen," Stanley says. "You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to pretend to be perfect. The truth is that we all need help and strengthening."
"Yes. Thank you." I am grateful for his understanding. "Please continue with your stories."
How following Jesus brings change and healing
"When I came to Heaven," Stanley says, "I was furious. Not about being here, but just in general. All I saw was commotion, as Helen saw, and opportunity. Opportunity to cause havoc. I was very disruptive, as you know, to some degree. I just wanted to cause harm to others. I was so hurt and so mad."
"After a time of being this way, I got tired. I was worn out. I finally stopped to look around, to really take in where I was. I realized that there wasn't any order here. It was confusing. I felt lost."
"That was when I saw these beings of light. Helen came with them and brought them to me. I was so happy to see her! She was beautiful and glowing."
"I was ready to be taught. By this time, you had already done my work, and I readily accepted Jesus' plan for me. I accepted his sacrifice, and the truth of salvation. It brought so much comfort to my soul. It was aching for relief."
"As he led me out of this place, I was in awe of what I experienced. The new place was so much better, it is difficult to explain. Glorious. Bright. Pure. Holy. I have sought after those things in earnest now, desiring more and more of them."
"Keep on the path you are on. Once you find it, don't ever go astray! There is nothing that can replace it. Nothing else will bring that peace and security. All peace comes through the gospel. There is no other way."
"Yes," Helen nods in agreement. "We are so much happier now. I mean, look at us!"
It's true. They appear so different, in a good way. I am amazed at the transformation.
"Seek after Christ. That will bring all anyone could ever want," Helen says.
"Thank you for meeting with us, Jen," Stanley says. "We appreciate this opportunity. Now, I do have more to tell you, if you are willing to listen."
Prepare for the upcoming days
Stanley shares guidance specifically for me. However, there are some parts of what he shared that I can share with you, too:
"Be good in all you do. There is much darkness coming, but it is not to be feared."
"Trust. Trust your Heavenly Father. He really does know best. He will bring you all you are seeking if you trust him. Do as he commands, and all will always be well."
"I'm sorry for all you suffered. I contributed to that because of how I treated your mom, and many others. But all things are done in wisdom, for Heavenly Father made it so. Accept the joy of the path before you. You have found it, and you do so much good. You have saved many of us! Focus on the good you have done and are doing. Seek after it, see it, and create more of it, with joy in your heart."
Stanley stands up, as a women comes and taps him on the shoulder. "We need to go," she says.
"I'm sorry, but it's time for us to leave. We have other work we must attend to. Thank you for this time. We appreciate it, and we appreciate you. Do good!"
"Good-bye!" Helen says as she waves and stands to leave.
An amazing healing brought about by choosing to follow Jesus
I am amazed at the change in my grandparents. What a blessing! What a joy!
My work focuses on helping others heal patterns of generational trauma. I've seen how much the experiences of mental illness, abuse, and poverty can wreck so much havoc on a person. And how difficult it can be to find healing and freedom from these things.
However, I know from my own experience that coming unto Jesus is what truly brings peace and healing. Now I've seen it in Stanley and Helen, too. They truly were glorious and bright!
I know that Christ brings peace to our hearts. I also know that choosing to be obedient brings blessings. Stanley mentioned the importance of obedience a few times. Another ancestor recently talked about obedience, too.
Wherever you are on your path, whatever you are struggling with, please know that change and healing are possible. Happiness and joy comes from following our Heavenly Father's plan for us. Now, and in the eternities.
