Take charge of how you feel (and release trapped emotions) 

 February 13, 2020

Do you realize how much control and power you have over how you feel? I know it might be a difficult thing to realize, but you are the only one who is in charge of how you feel. I'm sharing a story of how to take control of what you're feeling based on an experience in my bathroom this morning. Plus, I'll show you how to identify and release trapped emotions, so you can feel even better!


I'm going to share with you a specific example of how you can go through this process for yourself so that you can feel the way you want to feel, based on an experience that I had this morning right here in my bathroom.

Watch the video, or read on! (If you want to see how to clear trapped emotions, go to 7:09 in the video.)

Choosing your feelings maintains your personal power

How often do you think about the fact that you're in charge of how you feel? No one else has the power to make you feel a certain way, unless you give them that power over you. 

When I first learned this a number of years ago, it was difficult for me to accept. It took some time for me to fully realize and embrace.

But once I did, once I accepted that the only one who can make me feel a certain way is me, it's an incredibly freeing realization. Because now you are the one responsible for you, not someone else.

You are taking your power within your own hands, and for yourself, to be in charge of you instead of giving away that power to someone else.

That's very often what we do. In fact, it's what most people teach their kids is that other things and other people are responsible for how they feel when in fact, we are the ones responsible for how we feel.

How you can choose what you feel

The standard process, I guess, or the flow of things for our feelings, is that we have our thoughts, our thoughts create our emotions, and then our emotions drive us into our actions. Our actions are ultimately based on our thoughts, fueled by our emotions.

Sometimes the space between the thought and the feeling is so close that it's hard to tell which one comes first. That requires a little pause and a little space for reflection.

Let's see what this is like an action.

I'm in our upstairs bathroom today. My husband and I are the ones in the house. He uses this bathroom to get ready in the morning, I brush my teeth downstairs where our shower is. Then I come up and this is where I do my hair.

I came up to the bathroom today to dry my hair, and I noticed on our beautiful white countertop, that it's just really dirty. There's speckles of toothpaste all over it.

The toothpaste that we use is Redmond Earth paste, and it's not white. It's gray because it has bentonite clay in it. So it's really easy to see the toothpaste. The toothpaste is all over the counter. Now that is not inherently a good or a bad thing, it just is.

Another thing to realize is that things that we perceive in our world are not inherently good or bad, we make them so by our perceptions of them.

There's nothing wrong with the fact that there's toothpaste on the counter this morning.

But what happened was I came in, and I saw it, and I felt annoyed and irritated. For whatever reason, I felt annoyed and irritated. And that created this feeling of constriction within me. I thought something along the lines of, “why does he have to make such a mess?”

And then I stopped.

Because I realized that I was having this feeling of being irritated. And I didn't want to be irritated. There's no reason to feel irritated.

Notice how you're feeling in a situation and ask yourself, do I want to feel this way? Then ask, what can I do to change my perception of things so that I can feel the way I want to feel?

I didn't want to feel irritated. I was not interested in spending my time in that space. It doesn't feel good.

Remember, you're in control of how you feel. I bet you don't want to spend your days feeling irritated or angry or upset, do you? Me neither!

Make the shift to choose a new feeling

I stopped. I looked at the counter, and I thought, “Okay, how can I change my perception of what I'm seeing, so that I can feel differently?” Because what I want to feel is joy and lightness and happiness and love for my husband, because honestly, he's wonderful and amazing.

So I looked at the toothpaste on the countertop, and I thought, “I'm grateful that I have a husband, and I'm grateful that he is brushing his teeth. Thank you for self care and for a clean mouth. I'm happy about that.”

Instantly, I felt this little shift. And then I kind of laughed and realized that it's silly that I was irritated at something so small. But this happens to us very often as we go about our days, until we are used to having the habit of being in charge of our thoughts.

Remember, you are in charge of the way you feel and you are able to change the way you feel by changing how you think about things and then allowing that thought to bring up feelings that you want.

That gives you an incredible amount of power in your life.

The next step to that is that ultimately, we want our initial reactions to things to be of joy, of happiness, of peace, right? We want to get to a point in our lives, where we don't even have the irritation crop up.

That's my goal. That's what I help my clients work toward. They want to feel happy and joyful and in control and free. The way to do that is to take charge of your thoughts and change how you see and perceive the outside world.

Use energy clearing to feel better permanently

Another way to deal with this though, is to use the energy clearing. You can do simple energy clearing for yourself and I'm going to show you that process right now.

Because very often, when our initial response to something is fear based, when it's irritability, or anger, or disgust, that initial response is so quick, because it is stuck somewhere in our limbic system, that lower part of our brain that controls our fight or flight. It's there because of some sort of traumatic experience, whether it was a very small trauma, or a very big trauma, relatively speaking.

That emotional response is still stuck in our physical bodies and in our emotional bodies, and in our spiritual bodies.

The way to change that response, in addition to changing your thoughts, is by releasing the trapped emotion.

Let's go through that process so you can learn how to do it for yourself.

You can learn how to release trapped emotions in more detail in The Emotion Code, by Dr. Bradley Nelson

If you want to learn more about how to do it for yourself, I highly recommend the book The Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson. That's where I started my own journey to learn about energy clearing and energy medicine. So check out his book.

emotional trauma healing with The Emotion Code

He teaches you, in the book, how you can do The Emotion Code for yourself. That way you can use it to help you as you go about your day when you have times like this where you're feeling irritated.

I'm going to show you the process to identify and release trapped emotions.

(It might be more helpful to watch this process than to read. Go to 7:09 of the video at the top of the page to watch.)

We're going to use muscle testing to get Yes/No answers and to determine which emotion is trapped, and anything else we might need to know about it. The way I do my muscle testing is I use my fingers and create a circle with the thumb and middle finger of each finger, and interlock them.

testing for trapped emotions

Interlocking thumb and middle fingers to muscle test

It takes a little practice to know how hard or soft to pull for the answer of Yes and for the answer of No. Another way you can do this for yourself, and the way I recommend starting, is doing what's called a sway test.

A sway test is where you simply stand and you ask a question. If the answer to the question is yes, you will sway forward. If the answer to the question is no, you're going to sway backwards.

sway test to check for trapped emotions

The Sway Test. Your body will sway forward if the answer is YES and backward if the answer is NO.

The sway test is a simple test you can do in standing to get answers to Yes/No questions.

Now this takes a little practice as well because you can influence it yourself. So you do have to practice. Eventually you'll feel this motion in your body before you will actually move.

This is what the sway test looks like, if I just say, Yes, my body goes forward. If I say no, my body goes back. That's not doing the swaying. That's me allowing that motion to happen. It just naturally happens. Practice this for yourself, just say yes and no, and get used to feeling what it feels like.

The next step then, is to ask if there's actually a trapped emotion for something. So let's do that.

My question is, do I have a trapped emotion that contributed to the irritability I felt this morning?

I get a yes. My body knows that I'm talking about this experience in the bathroom because that's what we've been talking about. So I do have a trapped emotion.

Do we need to know any more about that emotion? And I get a no.

Now, this is completely up to you. If you want to know more, you can ask approximately how old you were when the emotion was trapped. You might also need to identify the emotion a little more specifically. I felt irritable, but maybe that's not exactly what the emotion is. Maybe it's fed up or annoyed or angry. Sometimes it matters, sometimes it doesn't matter.

In this case, we're getting that it doesn't matter but we can find out to for fun, since I'm doing this to show you as we go.

I'm just going to use my muscle testing that I use with my fingers, instead of the sway test, to find out about how old I was.

It can be interesting to find out how old you were when the emotion became trapped.

I say about because the muscle testing gives us information that's accurate to about a year, because your subconscious does not have time in the same way that we do here in our consciousness.

Let's ask, about how old was I when this emotion became trapped? Was I younger than 10? No. Was I between 10 and 40? No. Was I 40 to 45? No. I'm only 47…45, 46, 47.

I was about 46 to 47. So this became trapped fairly recently. It's not from an old experience. It's from something new. Now let's find out, ?Do I need to know anything more about it?” No. Okay. That's it.

We've got irritability, it became trapped fairly recently. Now we're going to get rid of it.

Here's how to get rid of the trapped emotions. It's really simple!

The way to get rid of it is very simple. You have two meridians that run around the midline of your body. The conception meridian runs along the front of the body. The governing meridian runs along the back of the body.

The governing meridian oversees all the other meridians in your body. What you're going to do is take either hand, and you're going to run it over that meridian. As you do so, you want to think of the word “love”.

releasing trapped emotions

Releasing trapped emotions. Start on the forehead and swipe back to the base of the skull.

When we release something, we need to replace it with something. If we don't intentionally replace it with something, something else will come in on its own to take its place and we want to replace it with something good. We want more love. We all want more love. That's who we are. That's what we are. That's what we want to embrace more in our lives. So I'm just going to do love, love, love, each time I swipe my hand from my forehead to the back of my head.

There you go. That's it!

Now we can double check. “Is there anything else we need to do to get rid of that emotion?” No. “Did we clear that emotion?” Yes, it's gone.

Now, you might want to ask, “are there any other emotions I need to clear related to that same experience of feeling irritable this morning?”  I get a no, so there's nothing else. That's it.

What will happen now is that irritability, since we just released it from the system, it's not going to pop up automatically in response to a situation.

What you're doing when you release these trapped emotions, is you are changing your automatic responses to situations that you encounter.

When you release a trapped emotion, it's gone permanently.

The flip side of that is that as you take more control over your thoughts, that will also help you continue to change your normal responses so that they're more of what you want them to be instead of the fearful based type responses to what's happening.

Once you've released the emotion, it's permanent, it is completely done and it is gone. That does not mean you're never going to feel irritable again, because you still have the choice. And you might have more irritability stuck in your body from other experiences that you've had during your life.

So that's the process. It's quite simple. I hope that you find that helpful that you can use it for yourself. Try it and let me know how it works for you.

Keep practicing to take charge of how you feel every day

Remember, you are in control, and you are the one who has power over how you feel, which is a very freeing realization. Your thoughts bring forth your feelings and your feelings are what drive you into action.

If you don't like what you're doing, or you don't like what you're feeling, step back and reflect on what you might be thinking and then proactively think something different.

Talk to yourself differently in a way that will help you feel the way you want to feel.

If you want to feel more love for someone, think better thoughts about that person, send them love.

Every time you get angry with someone, when you really want to feel more loving toward them, step back and replace that anger with a new thought.

Keep repeating that process over and over and over. Eventually, the day will come when you just feel love for that person.

You will be amazed because it will slowly happen over time. Suddenly one day, it'll seem like it happened overnight. But it's been a slow process, and you've done the work and now you get to reap the rewards!

You're in control of how you feel

  • STOP when you notice you're feeling badly/poorly, or any way you don't want to feel
  • Change your perspective and pick a new way of thinking about the person or the situation to bring about the feeling you DO want!
  • Use energy clearing to remove stuck emotions for good

What makes it hard to change how you're feeling?

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About the author

Jen Bessire, PhD, is a Christian medium, author, and healer. After 23 years as a physical therapist, God called her to her current path in 2014. She delights in helping others come unto Christ, heal generational trauma, and create a life of freedom. God is calling you - are you listening?

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