Waiting for physical healing can be extremely frustrating. It's easy to ask, Why hasn't God healed me? It can feel like you've done all you can. And yet you're still waiting and wondering why you're not healed.
More...
Why hasn't God healed me?
It was 1:30am, and I finally went downstairs to the couch. The pain and numbness in my hip was too much. No position was comfortable enough for me to fall back asleep.
"Ok," I thought, "since I'm up, I might as well see what I can do to heal this."
Mentally, I went into my toolkit and decided to just write and see what would come up. I love free writing as a way to process and find understanding. If you're stuck on something, just start to write. You'll be amazed at what comes forth from your subconscious that can help you figure things out.
But this time, writing wasn't enough for me. I felt frustrated and upset. I'd been dealing with these symptoms for months. And some related symptoms for years. Why wasn't I healed yet? What else did I need to do or know or understand for God to bring healing?
When healing is slow to come
Let's just get this out first...this topic of why God hasn't healed you is big enough for an entire book. This post isn't going to answer every aspect of this question. It's a biggie.
However, there IS an answer that I hadn't considered before, and that's what I'm excited to share with you.
Normally, when we ask, Why hasn't God healed me? we get answers like:
- we lack faith to be healed
- it's not His will
- it's not the right time
- we're not ready to accept the healing
- there's some purpose yet in our illness or pains
We won't get into whether these ideas are correct or not...but the area of healing is quite a big one. I will say that I don't believe that God wants for us to suffer. I think it's more our lack of understanding about this world that keeps us in pain.
That takes us into agency, and the fact that sometimes our pains are the result of the actions of others. Yet, we always have a choice ourselves.
The way we can find the most relief is to make the decision to take responsibility for our healing. When we make the decision to pursue health and to believe in health, it's only a matter of time.
And yet, we've all had times when it feels like God just isn't there. Why doesn't He answer our prayers? Why hasn't God healed me? How long must we suffer?
Healing Always Comes
Healing may not come when we want it, but it does come. That's the understanding God gave to me in the early morning hours this day...As I continued to write and ponder, sitting on my couch feeling upset, hurt, frustrated, dismayed, God and I had a chat, poetry style.
I've put His words like this (bold and italic) so you can distinguish them from mine.
By the way, have you ever felt God's words to you weren't completely clear? Me too. You'll notice I felt that way in this conversation.
I hope this brings peace to you as you wait for your healing. May you know that you're not alone in your struggles, and that God is always there for you.
Healing the Soul
Sleep eludes me,
Doubts rejoice.
Writing and writing,
And finding no voice.
The way is empty,
The path is bare.
The answers I seek
Are hiding, not there.
Why do I suffer?
Why don’t I heal?
What am I missing,
And unable to feel?
Cut off from something,
Feeling no choice.
Stuck in a place,
Stagnant, without voice.
What can I say?
What should I do?
I’ve tried all I know,
Even counting on you.
I know you’re there,
I know you see,
I know you answer,
Why not to me?
Come down from above,
Come out from within.
Make your will known,
Freeing from sin.
Your path is clear,
Your way divine.
My thoughts aren’t working,
Please tell me thine.
Child, look to me,
I’ll show you to see.
Nothing is missing,
I’m one with thee.
The voice you now hear
Is yours and is mine.
We’re one together,
One being, divine.
Separate yet not,
The veil holds the key.
Open the door
And come unto me.
Your words make no sense,
Obtuse, indirect.
Speak plainly now,
Give guidance, correct.
I come to thee.
I pray, and I wait.
I seek and I knock,
I’ve entered the gate.
What clouds my mind,
Make my ears not to hear?
If you’re giving guidance,
It’s certainly not clear.
“Come unto me.”
Don’t I do so each day?
Then why am I still lost,
Not knowing the way?
The path that you seek,
The answers you want,
Are given already.
Turn the hands of the clock.
The time is not now,
Nor ever will be,
When all things appear
At once unto thee.
There’s order and structure.
While time’s an illusion,
Your mind knows no different,
It’s part of the collusion.
Keep moving forward,
Have faith day by day.
The answers you’re seeking
Are coming your way.
God is seeking for you. And at the same time, He is always with you. As you ask, seek, and knock, I know you will find all of the healing you seek.
